A Verse to Live By

I received this daily Word on the Way on December 31, 2016 through WAY-FM and this one really made an impact on me. I’ve been relying on God’s strength for so long that I was holding my breath in the hopes that things were starting to turn around.  This Word on the Way has been wonderful encouragement for me. I printed it and put on my lamp on my desk at work as a constant reminder that God has the best intentions for me and my life. 2017 is going to be a great year!  I look back on the past nearly five months and I am in awe with all of the new things that have happened. He is indeed making a pathway through the wilderness!

Fellow Pavement Pounders

Remember how I told you that when I trained for my last marathon that I wouldn’t go through that training solo again?  I wrote about it here.

I can’t tell you how incredibly excited I am about my new running group.  SERIOUSLY. I look forward to Tuesday Night Track, Thursday Night Fun Runs with the Joggers and Lagers, and, of course, my M2 S2F (Start to Finish) fellow long-run partners on Saturday mornings. This group provides motivation, accountability, and absolutely unbelievable support.  I even rejoined Facebook, but only to be a member of this group!

This group high-5’s you even if your hands are sweaty from a run. They don’t mind how bad you smell from running in 90+ degrees weather on a hot July evening and then sitting down for a drink at a local brewhouse. They don’t care if your running clothes don’t match or if your shorts look like you’ve wet your pants from sweating.  This group praises your abilities (or sometimes inabilities, depending on the day!) of just getting out there and running and doing your best. They wonder where you are if you don’t show up to training. If you drop back to take pictures or are having hydration issues, they drop back with you to be sure that you’re okay and safe. We’re training together for a common goal, to complete the Prairie Fire Marathon in October. We are growing stronger with each run, not only with our bodies, but building relationships with fellow pavement pounders who are just as crazy about running.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.  

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Day 1 Time Trial Marathon Group – June 11. Photo by Karlee from Fleet Feet Wichita

A Late Night God Moment

train up a childParenting is HARD.  Teenage parenting is even harder.  Single teenage parenting is even harder still.  *sigh* What’s a mother to do?

Last month I was having issues with my eldest son, AGAIN.  It’s upsetting when I feel like I’ve lost connections/relationships as my son has gotten older. He has his own agenda now and doesn’t feel like he needs to share anything with anyone, including me, regardless that he lives under my roof and I provide for him.  Tough, I tell you, really tough. So I had gone downstairs and mentioned something in passing to my son who was doing something I have previously asked him not to do in the house.  I was just reminding him, honestly, and tried to keep my tone non-accusatory.  Of course it backfired, and he retorted with a statement with some expletives in it. I prided myself in not retaliating with what I really wanted to say, instead I just said, “Don’t even start that with me” and went back upstairs.

The damage, however, was done. My heart was crushed, again, and I felt defeated in my attempts to do what is right.  I felt helpless and out of control. What did I do wrong? It was a long night of crying, praying, tossing and turning and more praying.  I had work the next morning, which certainly didn’t help matters and only stressed me out more. And then came the anger and stress of having to deal with this alone with his father having left.

My phone signaled an incoming email.  I don’t usually check it in the middle of the night (or wee early hours of the morning) but in this case, I rolled over and checked it.  I get daily emails from Proverbs 31 Ministries and that was what had arrived at that moment. It was entitled  “Three Things Every Mom Should Know” by Lysa TerKeurst. My interest piqued, I opened it and began to read.

It began like this:

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.” Ephesians 6:10 (NIV)

LYSA TERKEURST

“Being a mom is tough.

I think one of the hardest things about motherhood for me has been my tendency to blame myself for the wrong choices my kids sometimes make.

The second hardest thing is trying to figure out how to fix their issues. Especially when you are hyper aware the situation your child is in will carry great consequences.

Deep is the sorrow of a mother who feels helpless.

Thankfully, God knows what it’s like to deal with wayward children. He feels our pain. He knows our sorrow. And He knows exactly how to encourage us through His Word.” (click on the title for the link that will let you read the entire devotional post)

I started crying all over again, big, heaving sobs that shook my entire body. I had been crying out for help in prayer and God provided answers by way of a single tone on my cell phone. I had been heard. God sent the encouragement that I needed to get me through this situation. What a friend I have in Jesus!

Psalm 145:18-19 “The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them.”

parenting prayer

 

A Little Ink

When I was in high school, I had a friend that had this small, red heart tattoo on her ankle. I never asked her about it, whether it had any significance or why she wanted it, but I do remember that I was in awe of it and that it would be something I would like to have.

Fast forward 30+ years. I continued to admire others’ ink so about a year ago I started a new category on my Pinterest account and called it “Hmmmm”.  My ex didn’t like tattoos so I hadn’t ever done anything about wanting one.  After visiting a tattoo shop with my daughter while she was getting a piercing, I realized that it wasn’t as scary as I thought.  I am my own person and I wanted something that would represent my strength, regardless of what life has dealt me.  Does that mean it would be a constant reminder of what happened in my life?  No, as it depends on the perspective of the situation. Was I doing it out of spite?  Absolutely not. This was 100% for me. I started small and a few tattoos that focused on strength caught my eye.

begin anew                      strength symbol

And then I saw this one.

lotus flower 2

I did some research and found the Story of the Lotus where it explained that the lotus flower begins to sprout underwater, surrounded by mud, muck, fish, insects . . . you know, basically a dirty and rough environment.  But despite its living conditions, it pushes to the surface and, as the article says, “rises from adversity.”  It goes on to talk about Buddhism and says this:  “… the bud of the lotus symbolizes potential. The lotus flower represents an awakening, spiritual growth, and enlightenment. Just as the lotus flower emerges from the water clean, the lotus also represents purity of body, speech, and mind. The lotus could be thought of as an awakened mind, which grows naturally toward the warmth and light of truth, love and compassion. The lotus may appear fragile on the surface, but it is flexible and strong, securely anchored under the surface of the water.”   Cool.

Then I found this article on Lotus Flower Meanings.  I love this part:  “Let’s face it. Poop happens. It’s what we make of a poopy situation that counts. Sure… we can crawl under our misery, never lifting our heads to the light that beckons us. That’s always an option. Or, we can be like the lotus. We can make the best of our crummy environment and rise above. Lotus flower meanings are all about aspiring to express, to live, to share beauty.”  Wow — I had plenty to hide my head about and the rejection I had experienced certainly made me want to never lift my head again.  I am embarrassed that my marriage failed, but marriage takes a partnership and that didn’t exist anymore in mine (not by choice, I might add).  I have decided that I wasn’t going to let that situation in which I had no say define who I am or what’s going to happen for the rest of my life.  I can relate to what this beautiful flower represents and I wanted this symbol permanently etched upon myself.  So, on March 7, 2015, I walked into that tattoo parlor and in about 15 minutes, it was complete.

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My lotus flower – 3/27/2016

It’s been over a year and I still love my flower.  In fact, I’m going to get another tattoo on my wrist but I’m going to let the artist design it using the elements I want.  We’ll see how that turns out!

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A picture of a lotus flower, taken by someone’s OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA.